Last Year in September, I had lost 102 pounds. I did this astounding feat with three simple (in theory,not so much practice) methods. My job can be physically demanding at times. That was simple. We were working full time hours and sometimes overtime. I simply worked hard. Secondly, I walked, not a leisurely pace, but not jogging either between four and eight miles three to five times a week. I like to walk. It’s therapeutic for me. And lastly, and most challenging, I conquered my tendency to overeat.
Then, last Fall, work dropped to three days a week, with several weeks completely off. I became very discouraged. Three of the books I was writing disappeared. I was devastated. My guitar student had to stop lessons for a while. The weather started turning bad. I started feeling physically bad (which is actually a side effect of depression). I quit walking. Guess what else I started doing again. Yep. Another symptom for my depression is serious overeating.
I gained about 30 pounds over the Winter. In the Spring, I started trying to turn it back around. Unfortunately, habitual behavior doesn’t change easily. Here it is mid-July, and I’m finally starting to see results to my efforts. I’m walking again. Work is up to four days a week, and I work hard.
Now the matter of eating is still hard. I will successfully exercise moderation, which is in complete contradiction to my nature for a few days, then I blow it. In the last two weeks, I had lost 11 pounds. Then Saturday, I went to a party. There was a criminal amount of food, and I ate an unlawful amount.
I was in a situation where gluttony was acceptable, so I excused myself. I used to do that at church dinners. Saturday, I ate til I was very uncomfortable. I actually looked at the amount of food I had taken, knew that I was going to be sick, and did it anyway. Have I conquered it yet? Clearly, no.
On work days, I eat a moderate breakfast. I am a diabetic, so its important not to skip meals (however, NOBODY should skip breakfast!). At work, I will eat a moderate lunch. I’m working hard, so I burn a lot of calories and sweat a lot. Then I come home and PIG OUT all evening.
I have a plan to change that. I have implemented the plan a few days, and it worked; however, then I went backwards a couple days. I don’t want to be too hard on myself, but on the other hand, I don’t want to continue excusing my inconsistency. I will nevr progress to my goal if I allow myself this lack of self-control. I did it last year. That means I can do it again. That means I WILL do it again.