My Kickstarter.com project, seeking backers to invest in the ministry of my first book MORE THAN SONGS failed. My efforts to raise $12,000 dollars to publish, I succeeded in raising $25.
So, here’s the way I look at it:
I asked a few brothers and sisters in the Lord to take a look at the project and give me honest feedback. One of these told me that he believed “you have to walk the walk in order to talk the talk. And [he] just didn’t see that in my daily life.” This hit me hard, but it was the truth.
I had been straying from living in the reality of what I believe. Oh, I still believe it, but I had become discouraged and was reverting back to old ways of dealing with stress and discouragement. I was not walking the walk.
To make it even worse… because of my biblical knowledge, I could still talk the talk. That would make me a hypocrite. I can praise and worship God sincerely because I know He is worthy. And I have the knowledge to teach many things of God. But if this knowledge affects no change in my life, then the message, no matter how powerful, is tainted, by me.
I was actually trying to convince myself and the Lord that if He would finally bring the vision He has given me to fruition, I would be so encouraged, then I could live the life that I know I should. I have been an intelligent fool. Having knowledge without understanding; knowledge without application is foolishness.
In a nutshell, my heavenly Father knows the true me, and knows that I am not ready yet to fulfill that vision. If He were to permit it now, my own foolishness would bring the important message to ruin. My behavior (deliberate sin) would taint the anointing on the message. And God does not call us into failure. When we follow His leading, we will succeed. The success may not have the form we thought it would, or happen when we think it should; but it will be according to His perfect will and perfect timing.
I just hope I can get it right before it’s too late for me.