10 Funniest Grammar Jokes (Or: Don’t Dangle Your Participle Around Here!)

 

For those writers, readers, and English teachers who are familiar with the English language, here are the 10 funniest grammar jokes :

1. A guy walks into a bar, only receiving minor injuries. (Just kidding. That’s not even funny. Poor guy.) Okay, Let’s try again…

1. Commas can save lives. Ex: “Some people enjoy cooking, their families, and their dogs”. OR “Some people enjoy cooking their families and their dogs”.

2. The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

C. When I was a kid, my English teacher called on me and said, “Name two pronouns”. I said ” Who, me?”

XII. Every time I see someone type “to funny”, I envision them raising a fist and heading out on a quest to find funny.

Yellow. AMBIGUITY… What happens in vagueness, stays in vagueness, baby!

6. A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air. “Why?” asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder. “I’m a panda,” he says at the door. “Look it up.” The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation. “Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.”

Still 6. Sign: “Attention: Toilet only for disabled elderly pregnant children”

11/3. From actual church bulletin: “ The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.”

eleventy-2. Another church bulletin one: Applications are now being accepted for 2 year-old nursery workers.

10. I hate that awkward moment when I spell a common word correctly, but it looks so wrong that I stare at it forever, questioning it’s existence.

Okay, there you have it. What’s that you say? You can think of 10 funnier grammar jokes? Fine. Go for it. Where’s your list at? Im sure your working on it right now;, theirs’ probably just some re-search too due. Good luck.

 

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mikemattice

I am 56 and live in Ravenna, OH USA. I am a writer . I am a father and grandfather. I have been a Christian since 1982. I am a musician and singer. I teach guitar (when I can get students). I am an avid reader and Bible student. Under the name Mike Mattice, I write Christian nonfiction. Also, I write web content for a web developer, articles and blogs on various topics.

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