In four days, I will be 53 years old. I don’t say that in celebration. A 53 year old man who was fired from his last job (and has had more jobs than he can remember), has no car, and is about to lose his only phone, must certainly appear unemployable to most businesses.
In 2012, I successfully published two books, available on Amazon.com. Sales have been anemic. I have been considering putting my first book, MORE THAN SONGS into print by the same means. This book has been a finished work for about 6 years. I have wanted to go with a traditional publisher, one who would believe in this book’s message and marketability enough to invest. Considering the Amazon.com method of publication is a compromise of that desire. I’m unsure if it would be my “Ishmael”.
Okay, I should probably explain what I mean by that… In the book of Genesis in the Bible, Abram (later called Abraham) had been promised by God that he would have a son. Since he and his wife were past the child-bearing years, it didn’t seem possible. Then God delayed the fulfillment of His promise. Eventually, Abraham and his wife Sarah decide she was not going to be able to give him a son. So, Abraham conceived with Sarah’s handmaiden, Hagar. Hagar bore a son, Ismael, for Abraham. Then God moved to fulfill His promise, and old Sarah gave birth to the son of promise, Isaac.
As for my reference to this story: Ishmael represented Abraham and his wife’s attempt to bring about God’s promise by their own efforts. I’m concerned that, if I self-publish MORE THAN SONGS, it will be my way of handling it, rather than letting God decide when, if, and how. He lead me through the writing, editing, and completion of this book. And now, because it has just sat for too long, I’m anxious.