Next Friday, January 11th is my 59th birthday. This in itself means nothing really. But its been stirring some really morbid thoughts in me.
In 2017, my brother Larry passed away at age 59. He seemed so very young to be lying there dying. Kidney failure took our mom’s life at 60. It was one of the causes of Larry’s death. He also had very bad diabetes, congestive heart failure, and some kind of fluid build-up in his abdomen.
Now every time I have thought of my impending birthday, I have thought about how Larry passed away at 59. I’m not writing this to be morbid or pathetic; actually, I’m writing this as therapy for my morbidity. I am trying hard to separate the two thoughts.
Yes, I miss my only brother. And it was a devastating loss far too soon. But there is no connection between his passing and my 59th birthday. So there’s no reason for me to mourn my birthday. I mean, other than the fact that I’m OLD!
My first Christian book “More than songs” is finally published and available on http://www.Amazon.com/books in Kindle format, and available in paperback in a few days.
I spent seven years researching, organizing, writing, re-writing over and over ad-infinitum on this book. I paid a professional editor and literary agent gladly took my money for nothing of any consequence. The book was actually completed in 2013. I submitted to several traditional publishers. I hoped to find one that believed enough in the message and my marketing ideas (nowadays, an author has to be a marketer as well), they would be willing to invest. In almost every case, the response was the same: “It is a very good message, superbly-expressed; however, we don’t see the book as marketable at this time. They always finished with a word of encouragement — “Keep trying!”.
I never had the money for the subsidized (or shared expense) publishers. They will print anything as long as you have the money. Generally, promotion is solely the author’s responsibility.
So, finally, I self-published through Kindle Digital Publishing (KDP). Under the pseudonym of Matt Ice, I have 3 books that have been published there since 2012. I use the pen-name because these books are written for a completely different audience. I don’t want to say I surrendered by publishing this book in this way. I need some extra money, and I feel an urgency for some reason for this message to get out there. By the way, I don’t think I mentioned the book is about worship, from a biblical perspective.
I poured my heart out into two blog posts last night. I haven’t written in a while and I am going to get back to my passion. My blog posts have always been shared on my various social media accounts, including, of course, Facebook. I have two FB accounts. One is almost non-existent. My blog has always shared with the correct account. However, all of a sudden, it didn’t. It shared with my dormant FB account. I CANNOT seem to change that setting! HELP!!!!!!!
Losing almost everything and everyone you really care about suddenly is like a hard kick to the groin. Surely all of the male readers just cringed. Due to my own foolishness, I very recently suffered a grievous loss of many people and a place of peace.
Regardless of the cause, the result is severe pain. But... here's the thing about a hard kick to the groin: It doesn't kill you. You suffer for a while, you try to understand why it happened, and maybe in some ways you will always grieve the loss.
For some time, I spent so much of my time and energy for these people and the place. Efforts of love are never a waste. I don't regret them. However, sometimes we have to be removed in order to realize that it's actually time for us to move on.
Again, I return to the injury analogy. I have to catch my breath and begin to stand upright again. I have to recognize that it was time for me to go from there and those dear people whom I will always love. If we are ever united again this side of heaven, it will be a wonderful time; but if not, I cannot remain stagnant. My God never intends that for me. I learn from my mistakes. I try to improve myself so I won't repeat them. I set out to new adventures and new places with new people.
I'm not dead. I'm not done. I will be alright.
About 3 months ago, within 3 weeks apart, Murphy (grey long-hair Mancoon) and Marty (I called him “Pink nose white toes”) died. They were more than just pets. They were my dear “Babies”.
Murphy and Marty at play
According the latest tweets, Donald Trump has held the office captive for over a year now, which is amazing when you consider many odds-makers were originally giving him six months.
In a little over a year , he may have fired more key personnel than he ever fired on his reality show. He has mocked American history, insulted… well… anyone who was paying attention to his words, and conclusively confirmed any concerns anyone may have had about his ability to behave presidentially in the world arena.
On the positive side, millions of Americans who had previously been apathetic about our government and democratic processes are now zealously involved. That’s a good thing. In the near future, that could actually lead to a return to a government “for the people by the people”. A truly ambitious dream.
We have set before a few choices. We can sit by the wayside and just complain about the moronic words and actions and tweets of an egomaniac who is dangerously clueless about the consequences of what he says and does. We could actively support our government with hopes that those around the president can courageously confront him with truth and reality until he accepts it, and they still have their jobs. We can pray that God will protect and preserve our nation through these dangerous times and dangerous leadership.
Or we could just tweet all our friends and family goodbye and move out of the country, you know like Donald’s wife.
******* If this post offends someone, I hope it will open friendly conversation. It’s sad so often in recent times that people’s political stand can lead to such terrible hatred. This is America people. “I may not agree with what you say but I will defend to the death your right to say it”. Come on now… who said it? **************************************